Apply the Dating Principles & Earn MASSIVE Success
by - Chetram nagar: good news
If all the theory so far has been boggling your
brain, then you'll be glad to know that TODAY's
newsletter is all about PRACTICE...
...in other words, how to APPLY everything you've
learned so far.
Obviously, there's not enough time here to go
into everything in depth, but I want you to be
aware that the Dating Principles we've given you
over the past three days have enormous power and
potential.
As a quick refresher, here are the three Dating
Principles you've learned:
Dating Principle #1: Men and women are
different.
Dating Principle #2:Women are attracted to males
because they're MEN.
Dating Principle #3: Non-attachment is what
works - don't get obsessive.
And now, for the 'how-to' part.
DATING PRINCIPLE #1 APPLIED: Men and women are
different.
Most guys act in a way that presumes women will
respond to the same things that men respond to, in
a similar way.
Case in point: most guys beat themselves up
over their looks, expecting that females will have a
hard time experiencing attraction for a guy who's
not particularly good looking. (Whereas the truth
is, it tends to be his perceived 'status' and his
air of CONTROL and CONFIDENCE that does it.)
Another example: take body-builders. Huge guys.
Ripped. Many men think of them as the epitome
of masculine grace, strength, and aesthetics. But
do WOMEN necessarily find them attractive? The
answer is, Not as often as you'd think.
(And in fact, many women are ACTIVELY REPELLED
by the 'walking anatomy chart' look.)
When you get right down to it, women are
looking for a guy who can PROVIDE for them on an
emotional and psychological, as well as physical,
level.
Although it's true that looks will certainly
get you ATTENTION from females, it's also true that
unless you've got the solid game to back those
looks up, you'll get a lot of first dates - but
not much more than that.
This is where you need to understand what she
REALLY WANTS, and be able to give it to her ...
WITHOUT compromising yourself as a man, or what
you're willing and able to give.
Now, I want to talk for a minute about the
importance of MOOD and FEELINGS for a female. If
you want her to think that you're an interesting
guy, you need to concentrate on creating that
atmosphere for her. Don't expect her to do it.
Again, it's about 'manning up': YOU have to be
the one to talk about interesting things and get a
reaction out of her, or else she's going to get
bored ... and put the responsibility for that
boredom squarely back on your shoulders.
A lot of guys approach a female with a cleverly
thought-out opening line, but have very little to
say afterwards. They figure that attraction should
be 'fair', and, seeing as how they've put their
ego on the line by approaching her, it's now HER
turn to 'carry' the conversation.
This may be logical, but it's not going to get
you anywhere.
My best suggestion to you is to really just
focus on what's happening around you, RIGHT NOW.
If you're talking to a woman, don't get all tied
up in what you should be saying next, what that
look she's giving you means, and whether you're
being 'funny' enough. Just BE THERE with her and
stop getting in your own way.
This is known as 'presence of mind' and is a
very powerful tool to use - especially on very
attractive females, as these are the ones used to
guys 'double-tracking' their thoughts and putting
a lot of time and energy into how to 'seem cool'.
If you're not getting distracted by that little
voice inside your head, and you're able to just be
present, fun, outrageous, and actually get a rise
out of her, that is going to create FEELINGS. And
those feelings are going to prove to her that
you're an interesting guy ... and that you're not
like the rest of them.
Secondly: don't try TOO HARD to get her to like
you. It will sabotage your masculinity. Know that
the 'average approach' for most guys, when talking
to an attractive female, is to BOW DOWN and REFRAIN
from challenging her in any way, because they're
afraid that to disagree with her is to damage
their 'chances'.
This is false, and will effectively sabotage
your progress. Challenging her is GOOD. It creates
reactions, responses, FEELINGS.
So if you're having a difference of opinion,
roll with it. It should be obvious that any kind
of insulting behavior, mockery, or 'nuttiness' is
not a good thing (so don't be rigidly inflexible),
but be OK with who YOU are and don't kiss ass. Man
up.
Third: don't be afraid to interrupt. There are
a lot of dating gurus out there (especially in the
online world) who advertise ways to 'get women to
approach you' ... sorry, but this just doesn't
float. If you're waiting for a woman to approach
YOU, you're advertising that you're NOT ENOUGH OF
A MAN to approach HER.
But if you wait for 'just the right moment'
before approaching her, you'll likely be waiting
all night. Ditto if you're one of those guys who
lurks around, hoping for her to disentangle from
her group in order to visit the toilet or the bar.
Attractive females are rarely alone. So you must
be able to just roll on up and interrupt her
conversation. If you're OK with it, she will be
too. Remember: you have to LEAD. This is what she
wants you to do: LEAD, with strength, audacity,
and a marked lack of apology.
(Again, though: rudeness will get you nowhere.)
Pay attention to who you're approaching. Does
she seem to be having fun? Does she have energy?
Those are the women who are easiest to approach,
because they're in a mood to be 'outrageous' and
go with the flow. (This is true even of inherently
non-social situations, e.g. at the mall or the
park or whatever.)
Comfort and trust are also huge issues for
women, which is another reason why you must take
it upon yourself to CREATE that atmosphere that
will set her at ease. If you seem nervous and
uncertain, she'll wonder what's wrong and either
get bored, or feel anxious.
Hopefully I don't have to belabor this next
point, but let me just point out that 'being a guy
that women can trust' is NOT the same as 'being
the guy she can trust to jump when she says jump'.
It's about allowing her to sense that you're in
control, you're confident of your abilities, and
you can handle whatever happens - INCLUDING, a
brush-off from her.
Often, a woman will brush you off as a 'test'.
She wants to see what will happen next. If you
handle it well, this will often cause a MASSIVE
RISE in her attraction to you, because you've just
demonstrated that you're not easily shaken. It's
simple: if she can't faze you, then you must be
socially 'better' than her. (A.k.a. 'value'.)
And as you know, this is a fundamental KEY of
attraction for females.
DATING PRINCIPLE #2 APPLIED: Females are
attracted to males because they're men.
OK. So we all know by now that being a MAN is
what cuts it for women.
And what's an ESSENTIAL part of manhood (that,
by the way, many guys overlook)?
It's this: not caring too much about what women
think.
Have a focus and passion in your life that is
OTHER THAN women. And while you're at it, focus on
building the qualities that make you feel more
like the MAN you were born to be. I'm talking
about courage, discipline, and drive.
If you're having a tough time thinking beyond
the next pay-check, the next pizza, and the next
party, you're going to have a tough time
sustaining attraction with a top-notch female.
Discipline your body at the same time you
discipline your mind. Take it from me: your body
was designed to BE ACTIVE. You will feel better and
look better and DO BETTER if you take even a
little more care of yourself. Feed yourself
nutritious food that sustains and nourishes you.
Get outside and get moving before I come to your
house and make you do it.
Above all: I know, I know, it's that
counterintuitive thing at work again, but your
success with women will astound even yourself if
you can stop PRIORITIZING it so much. The hungry
don't get fed ... and if you can channel your energy
and enthusiasm into living a life that YOU LOVE,
that you wake up every morning feeling enthused
and excited to be a part of ...
... and (the clincher) it's not just some big
'act' to get women ...
...THAT is when the cogs are going to engage and
your whole life is going to shift into a higher
gear.
So take a step back and focus on yourself for a
change. The more you want her approval, the less
you'll get it.
The solution, of course, is to create a life
for yourself where her approval NATURALLY is not
that important to you - because you're an
interesting guy who's 'up to stuff'. Stuff that
she'll probably want to be a part of.
Natch.
DATING PRINCIPLE #3 APPLIED: Non-attachment is
what works - don't get obsessive.
Getting rid of that pressure within yourself to
'see some results' and 'get someone' and 'MAKE
IT WORK THIS TIME' is going to go a long way
towards helping you create the attitude of
strength, calm, and 'It's all going to be OK' that
women LOVE.
These principles all tie into each other. The
more of a kick-ass life you're leading, the less
needy and desperate you'll be, because you'll be
building up a self-image dependent upon a life
that YOU have control over, as opposed to random
things like the opinions of women.
Instead of focusing on WOMEN, focus on
YOURSELF. This is a fundamental principle
of success. Don't fall down the slippery slope of
approval-seeking, because that's just going to
CREEP HER OUT.
So it's natural to care about what
others (women) think of you ... but just don't care
TOO MUCH.
The more unfazed and self-controlled and
RELAXED you can be about what happens in ANY given
situation - a conversation, a phone-call, an
argument, dealing with an upset woman - the more
successful you'll become. Learn not to take
things so personally. When a woman brushes you
off, it's not about you. It's not even about her.
It's just that the conditions weren't right to
create a connection. It's up to YOU to see where
things went wrong so that you can modify your
approach next time.
TIME FOR A LITTLE EXERCISE
Before I conclude this lesson, I want you to
whip out a sheet of paper and grab a pen. I've
given you a lot of ideas so far about how you can
modify the way you interact with females to increase
your success in attracting them. Now I want you
to PICK 5 ideas that appeal to you - they don't
have to be my ideas, they can be ones that you
thought up while reading these lessons - and write
them down.
Once you've finished writing down the five
concrete steps that appeal to you most, I want you
to write at the top of the sheet of paper the
following headline: "MY GOALS FOR THE NEXT WEEK."
I want you to put each of those five ideas into
PRACTICE in the following week. That's right -
each and every one.
Look, I know how most of us are. We come
across a great idea and think, "Oh! That sounds
great!" And then we sit on our hands and do
absolutely nothing about it.
I also know that when we're not good at
something, we'll do everything in our power to
resist getting better. That's because practicing
stuff that we suck at, quite frankly, sucks. But
you've got to do it. Don't let your mind talk you
out of getting better. Success is your BIRTHRIGHT.
Who the hell is your mind to talk you out of
getting what's yours?
That's it for today. Tomorrow we're going to
talk about how to apply these principles to the
fine science of Relationship Management.
Be cool,
thaks
If all the theory so far has been boggling your
brain, then you'll be glad to know that TODAY's
newsletter is all about PRACTICE...
...in other words, how to APPLY everything you've
learned so far.
Obviously, there's not enough time here to go
into everything in depth, but I want you to be
aware that the Dating Principles we've given you
over the past three days have enormous power and
potential.
As a quick refresher, here are the three Dating
Principles you've learned:
Dating Principle #1: Men and women are
different.
Dating Principle #2:Women are attracted to males
because they're MEN.
Dating Principle #3: Non-attachment is what
works - don't get obsessive.
And now, for the 'how-to' part.
DATING PRINCIPLE #1 APPLIED: Men and women are
different.
Most guys act in a way that presumes women will
respond to the same things that men respond to, in
a similar way.
Case in point: most guys beat themselves up
over their looks, expecting that females will have a
hard time experiencing attraction for a guy who's
not particularly good looking. (Whereas the truth
is, it tends to be his perceived 'status' and his
air of CONTROL and CONFIDENCE that does it.)
Another example: take body-builders. Huge guys.
Ripped. Many men think of them as the epitome
of masculine grace, strength, and aesthetics. But
do WOMEN necessarily find them attractive? The
answer is, Not as often as you'd think.
(And in fact, many women are ACTIVELY REPELLED
by the 'walking anatomy chart' look.)
When you get right down to it, women are
looking for a guy who can PROVIDE for them on an
emotional and psychological, as well as physical,
level.
Although it's true that looks will certainly
get you ATTENTION from females, it's also true that
unless you've got the solid game to back those
looks up, you'll get a lot of first dates - but
not much more than that.
This is where you need to understand what she
REALLY WANTS, and be able to give it to her ...
WITHOUT compromising yourself as a man, or what
you're willing and able to give.
Now, I want to talk for a minute about the
importance of MOOD and FEELINGS for a female. If
you want her to think that you're an interesting
guy, you need to concentrate on creating that
atmosphere for her. Don't expect her to do it.
Again, it's about 'manning up': YOU have to be
the one to talk about interesting things and get a
reaction out of her, or else she's going to get
bored ... and put the responsibility for that
boredom squarely back on your shoulders.
A lot of guys approach a female with a cleverly
thought-out opening line, but have very little to
say afterwards. They figure that attraction should
be 'fair', and, seeing as how they've put their
ego on the line by approaching her, it's now HER
turn to 'carry' the conversation.
This may be logical, but it's not going to get
you anywhere.
My best suggestion to you is to really just
focus on what's happening around you, RIGHT NOW.
If you're talking to a woman, don't get all tied
up in what you should be saying next, what that
look she's giving you means, and whether you're
being 'funny' enough. Just BE THERE with her and
stop getting in your own way.
This is known as 'presence of mind' and is a
very powerful tool to use - especially on very
attractive females, as these are the ones used to
guys 'double-tracking' their thoughts and putting
a lot of time and energy into how to 'seem cool'.
If you're not getting distracted by that little
voice inside your head, and you're able to just be
present, fun, outrageous, and actually get a rise
out of her, that is going to create FEELINGS. And
those feelings are going to prove to her that
you're an interesting guy ... and that you're not
like the rest of them.
Secondly: don't try TOO HARD to get her to like
you. It will sabotage your masculinity. Know that
the 'average approach' for most guys, when talking
to an attractive female, is to BOW DOWN and REFRAIN
from challenging her in any way, because they're
afraid that to disagree with her is to damage
their 'chances'.
This is false, and will effectively sabotage
your progress. Challenging her is GOOD. It creates
reactions, responses, FEELINGS.
So if you're having a difference of opinion,
roll with it. It should be obvious that any kind
of insulting behavior, mockery, or 'nuttiness' is
not a good thing (so don't be rigidly inflexible),
but be OK with who YOU are and don't kiss ass. Man
up.
Third: don't be afraid to interrupt. There are
a lot of dating gurus out there (especially in the
online world) who advertise ways to 'get women to
approach you' ... sorry, but this just doesn't
float. If you're waiting for a woman to approach
YOU, you're advertising that you're NOT ENOUGH OF
A MAN to approach HER.
But if you wait for 'just the right moment'
before approaching her, you'll likely be waiting
all night. Ditto if you're one of those guys who
lurks around, hoping for her to disentangle from
her group in order to visit the toilet or the bar.
Attractive females are rarely alone. So you must
be able to just roll on up and interrupt her
conversation. If you're OK with it, she will be
too. Remember: you have to LEAD. This is what she
wants you to do: LEAD, with strength, audacity,
and a marked lack of apology.
(Again, though: rudeness will get you nowhere.)
Pay attention to who you're approaching. Does
she seem to be having fun? Does she have energy?
Those are the women who are easiest to approach,
because they're in a mood to be 'outrageous' and
go with the flow. (This is true even of inherently
non-social situations, e.g. at the mall or the
park or whatever.)
Comfort and trust are also huge issues for
women, which is another reason why you must take
it upon yourself to CREATE that atmosphere that
will set her at ease. If you seem nervous and
uncertain, she'll wonder what's wrong and either
get bored, or feel anxious.
Hopefully I don't have to belabor this next
point, but let me just point out that 'being a guy
that women can trust' is NOT the same as 'being
the guy she can trust to jump when she says jump'.
It's about allowing her to sense that you're in
control, you're confident of your abilities, and
you can handle whatever happens - INCLUDING, a
brush-off from her.
Often, a woman will brush you off as a 'test'.
She wants to see what will happen next. If you
handle it well, this will often cause a MASSIVE
RISE in her attraction to you, because you've just
demonstrated that you're not easily shaken. It's
simple: if she can't faze you, then you must be
socially 'better' than her. (A.k.a. 'value'.)
And as you know, this is a fundamental KEY of
attraction for females.
DATING PRINCIPLE #2 APPLIED: Females are
attracted to males because they're men.
OK. So we all know by now that being a MAN is
what cuts it for women.
And what's an ESSENTIAL part of manhood (that,
by the way, many guys overlook)?
It's this: not caring too much about what women
think.
Have a focus and passion in your life that is
OTHER THAN women. And while you're at it, focus on
building the qualities that make you feel more
like the MAN you were born to be. I'm talking
about courage, discipline, and drive.
If you're having a tough time thinking beyond
the next pay-check, the next pizza, and the next
party, you're going to have a tough time
sustaining attraction with a top-notch female.
Discipline your body at the same time you
discipline your mind. Take it from me: your body
was designed to BE ACTIVE. You will feel better and
look better and DO BETTER if you take even a
little more care of yourself. Feed yourself
nutritious food that sustains and nourishes you.
Get outside and get moving before I come to your
house and make you do it.
Above all: I know, I know, it's that
counterintuitive thing at work again, but your
success with women will astound even yourself if
you can stop PRIORITIZING it so much. The hungry
don't get fed ... and if you can channel your energy
and enthusiasm into living a life that YOU LOVE,
that you wake up every morning feeling enthused
and excited to be a part of ...
... and (the clincher) it's not just some big
'act' to get women ...
...THAT is when the cogs are going to engage and
your whole life is going to shift into a higher
gear.
So take a step back and focus on yourself for a
change. The more you want her approval, the less
you'll get it.
The solution, of course, is to create a life
for yourself where her approval NATURALLY is not
that important to you - because you're an
interesting guy who's 'up to stuff'. Stuff that
she'll probably want to be a part of.
Natch.
DATING PRINCIPLE #3 APPLIED: Non-attachment is
what works - don't get obsessive.
Getting rid of that pressure within yourself to
'see some results' and 'get someone' and 'MAKE
IT WORK THIS TIME' is going to go a long way
towards helping you create the attitude of
strength, calm, and 'It's all going to be OK' that
women LOVE.
These principles all tie into each other. The
more of a kick-ass life you're leading, the less
needy and desperate you'll be, because you'll be
building up a self-image dependent upon a life
that YOU have control over, as opposed to random
things like the opinions of women.
Instead of focusing on WOMEN, focus on
YOURSELF. This is a fundamental principle
of success. Don't fall down the slippery slope of
approval-seeking, because that's just going to
CREEP HER OUT.
So it's natural to care about what
others (women) think of you ... but just don't care
TOO MUCH.
The more unfazed and self-controlled and
RELAXED you can be about what happens in ANY given
situation - a conversation, a phone-call, an
argument, dealing with an upset woman - the more
successful you'll become. Learn not to take
things so personally. When a woman brushes you
off, it's not about you. It's not even about her.
It's just that the conditions weren't right to
create a connection. It's up to YOU to see where
things went wrong so that you can modify your
approach next time.
TIME FOR A LITTLE EXERCISE
Before I conclude this lesson, I want you to
whip out a sheet of paper and grab a pen. I've
given you a lot of ideas so far about how you can
modify the way you interact with females to increase
your success in attracting them. Now I want you
to PICK 5 ideas that appeal to you - they don't
have to be my ideas, they can be ones that you
thought up while reading these lessons - and write
them down.
Once you've finished writing down the five
concrete steps that appeal to you most, I want you
to write at the top of the sheet of paper the
following headline: "MY GOALS FOR THE NEXT WEEK."
I want you to put each of those five ideas into
PRACTICE in the following week. That's right -
each and every one.
Look, I know how most of us are. We come
across a great idea and think, "Oh! That sounds
great!" And then we sit on our hands and do
absolutely nothing about it.
I also know that when we're not good at
something, we'll do everything in our power to
resist getting better. That's because practicing
stuff that we suck at, quite frankly, sucks. But
you've got to do it. Don't let your mind talk you
out of getting better. Success is your BIRTHRIGHT.
Who the hell is your mind to talk you out of
getting what's yours?
That's it for today. Tomorrow we're going to
talk about how to apply these principles to the
fine science of Relationship Management.
Be cool,
thaks
Comments